Valentine’s is just around the corner, and hubby and I always reminisce about our first real date being on Valentine’s Day – watching “Sleepless in Seattle” no less!

And I’m always befuddled by how two people as polar opposites as we are could have gotten together and been married for nearly 17 years now! Wowzah!

Kinda like how I’m strangely drawn to this unlikely combo of yellow and grey.

So wrong, yet so right…

Can’t go past blue and gold for serious style, inspired by Cobie Smulders’ People’s Choice Awards look.

Nothing quite says ‘goddess’ for me like gold on drapey blue dresses.

There’s a shade of blue here to fit anybody’s mood.

And enough gold for a serious bling-out.

(All products below from shopbop – just click on the images to start shopping.)

Symbolize your love with Heart Jewerly from Allurez

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This year, I want to be better at this motherhood gig. I want to be present for my kids, enjoy every moment and express my love for them in better ways than ever.

Surprisingly, that means starting with myself first and taking care of me so I can take care of them well. It’s that famous goose-and-golden-egg rule – entirely appropriate don’t you think?

1. Start with a good night’s sleep. Really hard for me because my brain is always on overload (which is really the way I like it).

But I know the God-honest truth is that if I don’t get a good night’s sleep I will be too exhausted during the day and just one tiny slip away from losing my temper at my kids.

Not good for my mummy resolution at all.

2. Eat well. Yes I want to lose weight and get to goal in the first quarter of this year.

But more importantly, I need to remember to eat well full stop.

Avoid unnecessary sugars (aka carbs) that make me the not-so-sweet mum with mood swings like Pharaoh’s Curse in Luna Park.

I recommend starting out with knowing the science of a healthy low-carb lifestyle. I don’t pretend to know everything or do it all perfectly, but Atkins was the one that started it all for me so I highly recommend it to any mum who wants to start well on that path to a healthy body.

3. Get moving. Even if I don’t exercise formally (e.g. go to the gym or get through a full Zumba DVD session), if I’m consistent with the first two tips, I find that even cleaning the house or walking during my lunch break becomes a good workout.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

— Dale Carnegie

It’s also good to dust off the cobwebs and start de-cluttering the house to give my soul a breather and help me relax in my space – a fairly simple way to get my happiness and satisfaction meter up, up, up!

4. Do something you love… by yourself. Everyday would be ideal.

I’m a media addict, so I watch favourite TV shows or a well-loved movie. Or I thumb through my magazines or my books (real or virtual).  

One of my more recent finds has been Francine Rivers novels always on-hand on my Blackberry Playbook for those all-too-frequent insomnia attacks.

5. Meet God where you are. Seriously.

Talk to Him in the moment, like when my back is giving out from having to carry my not-so-little 4-year-old while I’m trying to have an adult conversation in a party. Or the battle for bedtime begins anew. Or when I’m driving to Krispy Kreme when I really shouldn’t but I thank Him that my life is good, really it is.

No matter how small, if it’s too much in the moment for me, I meet Him where I am and unburden myself.

I know it’s selfish, but trust me He can take it.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7

And full circle to that first tip, it’s the best way to get me to that good night’s sleep.

Joan card from BSylvar Boutique Card Shop on etsy

Still celebrating Australia through January, and sharing this lovely little treasure from Melbourne on etsy.

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

I had an aversion to my full name when I was younger. Patricia.

Sounded like this rich old lady living in a mansion with servants who she was mean and bitchy to. A bit snooty to say the least.

Guess I just didn’t want to embrace some elegant part of myself.

These days not so much. I look at the ‘Patricia’ card from BSylvar and I think it is absolutely appropriate and fabulous!

Patricia personalized dress card

A few more of my favourites in the shop.

Gloria personalized dress card

Chloe personalized dress card

Kathryn wedding card

Claudia & David vintage couple

Kathleen personalized dress card

Actually, I love them all so this is really just a selection.

And if you look close enough you’ll find my new namesake card in and amongst all of Sylvana Borelli’s beautiful creations.

Truly a beautiful and unique way to remember a memorable day or just as a lovely gift to someone special.

Australia map studs from rmdjewellery (Sydney, New South Wales)

Lookin’ forward to some lamb on the barbie and a fair dinkum good time with my mates this Thursday – Australia Day!

And what better way to celebrate Aussie style than share a few local shops I’ve found on etsy. To be honest, there was heaps – proof that Aussie’s are a truly diverse, creative and stylish lot!

Click on the photos to be directed to their etsy stores.

G’day, mate!

green & beige leather earrings from kellyoleary (Ceduna, South Australia)

Smurf mushroom house earrings from Szeya (Sydney, New South Wales)

Uptown Diva by StudioLeanne (Melbourne, Victoria)

handmade medieval crown by sparklybitsjewels (Macedon, Victoria)

yellow bracelet anodized aluminum & black rubber by MarjonScheffer (Brisbane, Queensland)

bluebird locket from StellarLightJewelry (Melbourne, Victoria)

silver teardrop paisley earrings from JewelryDeli (Sydney, New South Wales)

Australian Aboriginal possum print wallet by MissTreeCreations (Hobart, Tasmania)

WTF? I hope that’s not how you’re going to live your life from now on.

Trust me, life is too short to not be walking around in the style that elegantly exudes you.

So what’s stopping you? Perhaps you’ll recognize some of the barriers I discuss in this article.

Let’s start with confidence.

THE CONFIDENCE BARRIER

This is not the place where I want you to heal your inner child. Or get rid of some deeply subconscious psychological belief from your past that branded you as unworthy.

But if that’s what it takes, then go ahead get healed and psychoanalyzed.

Barring that, I think the biggest thing about finding your style confidence is caring about what OTHER people think.

In a word – DON’T.

Here’s a great article on embracing your own style, with the first step having a care factor of zero for what other people think.

But let’s take that concept further, and go as far as to not care what looks good or not good on other people. You only need to care about what looks good (and what doesn’t) on YOU.

Get to know yourself – your genetics, your bone structure, your body type, your energy type, your budget, your life.

Embrace your whole self. Your style will soon follow.

So remember, confidence means care factor zero for anything other than you.

THE VALUES BARRIER

Have you ever been called ‘awkward’? I know I have. Boy that hurt, especially since I knew that inside I wasn’t. I was courageous, loving, hardworking — but awkward?

Well, I was eventually thankful for that comment as it woke me up and made me think about how I was presenting myself to the world and whether I was caring about myself enough to show ME in the best light.

See I thought of myself as simple and conservative, all the while not wanting to fade into the background or look like everybody else.

I had to make up my mind to disassociate being a bad person with being a stylish one. Or it was more like believing that putting on makeup made me some sort of daughter-of-Jezebel. (Okay that was one of my deeper psychological childhood issues but it’s too long of a story to talk about here.) Or even that experimenting with colour or different skirt lengths meant I was ‘asking for attention’.

Really. It’s just clothes people. Or semi-permanent hair colour. Get over it.

We all make style mistakes, and probably some that don’t necessarily reflect our values.

But what we wear is not the whole story of who we are.

Just as a photograph is just a snapshot of your life, not the entirety of it.

Style can reflect your current mood, maybe your life stage, or perhaps your economic status. It can be a political statement if you wanted it to. Or it could tell others of the state of your heart even if you don’t want to.

However, if something does not quite jive with who you are, or who you’ve become, know that you can let go and choose something else.

Style, fashion, standards of beauty may all change. But those eternal values of integrity, love, kindness, compassion, faith, loyalty, etc. – well, they won’t change.

And wearing a sexy red dress will not change who you are. You’re still a great mum, a caring daughter, an amazing sister, a loving wife.

I love it when my 4yo tells me that I’m beautiful. At one point, he saw Morgana on Merlin and said “Mum, is she beautiful?” and when I said yes, he said “Like you?”. I knew then that my values were still intact even though I was now ‘stylish’ and not ‘awkward’.

Can’t beat that.

THE MONEY BARRIER

Style is about creativity. And creativity always demands that the artist (in this case you) has limited resources, whether by personal choice or not.

Perhaps in the beginning an artist can be financially poor and be astoundingly creative. But once she makes it big, she will always choose to limit herself in a certain way whether by sticking to one medium, or pressuring herself to a deadline or some other creative way to get her creative juices flowing.

Just watch any J.K. Rowling interview and you’ll see this is oh-so-true.

The point is creativity, and style, demands that we use not-so-common sense over very-common cents.

You’re trying to create a one-off so don’t worry about what’s beyond your reach. Just break down that first 2 barriers we talked about, and you’ll find out that money is never the problem.

Ever.

Cue my practical tips: scour your trusty op-shops, haggle at vintage (or Asian) market stalls, or stalk the clearance bins of Target and KMart.

I swear, over half of my clothes are from Target (pronounced Tar-zhay, merci beaucoup!) and I really don’t care. I know I look good and that’s all that matters. Remember ‘care factor’? Zero.

Besides, even a fashion blogger has to stick to a budget.

THE WEIGHT BARRIER

I’ll admit, I’m always running into this one. Ever since my second child. Who’s now 10 by the way.

Funny thing is, it’s part of me and I have to embrace it. Not just the excess weight, but also the meandering adventures I’ve had with it. Thus, despite the revamp of my website, I’ve chosen to leave all of my earlier entries where I’ve tried and failed to get to my goal weight of 105 lbs (about 47 kilos).

Don’t get me wrong, I still want to get there. But I’m not using the weight excuse to not let my style shine.

After all, style is more than what you wear. It’s a way of looking, of doing, and of being. It’s an expression of myself and I am certainly more than that dial on the scale.

So work on yourself and your style first. You’ll find that finding your style might even help you either lose that extra weight, or get over it altogether.

THE AGE BARRIER

This one works both ways — you can never be too old nor too young to show your style.

Never give up on you.

Make the most of what you have now, no matter which box you tick in those damn surveys!

And beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. So behold your beauty every day. Then go out and conquer the world.

Sorry to wax poetic here, but I just don’t have any rules for ‘dressing my age’.

It simply doesn’t matter.

So on that note, I wish all you fabulous people a great 2012 and hopefully, you’ll make trishcardona part of your style journey this year!

I was the epitome of angelic motherhood the last few weeks (cue heavenly choir of angels here), as the chickenpox virus had the whole family (almost) trapped in our house since late last month.

So I wasn’t a ‘tiger mum’ while the kids were sick, but I can’t say that I’m not in other areas.

I know many people were not happy with Amy Chua’s book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” but I honestly can’t be as critical of it as most people are.

As any parent will tell you, parenting doesn’t happen in a vacuum.

Unless you have truly raised a child — and I mean RAISED, not have a child and he is still a cute little baby in your arms — and taken him from birth through childhood to help him navigate their little world which of course revolves around them in the beginning until they realize that yes, other people have the right to live in their world too — then I think you shouldn’t raise judgment against Chua’s story.

My own parenting style has evolved from my own experiences of being brought up by my own parents (in what was a strict religious background for the most part, and yes quite Asian), my own conscious decisions through actively learning parenting concepts from books and other sources, and even the unconscious influences that have shaped me through popular media and just being around other people, both parents and kids.

Not to mention the interaction between each of my children that challenges my concepts of parenting and motherhood. Every. Single. Day.

Many of the things you resolve never to do as a parent you could very well find yourself doing after a long day at work, or after the 108th time your child refuses to do what you ask them to, or even with the pressure of being in a public place and all that entails.

My parenting style is what it is now, and it’s constantly evolving as I change, my kids change and the world changes. Such is life.

So here are (for now) my 5 fundamental building blocks of parenting that, for the most part, has kept me sane for the past 13 years. And it’s not as much a list of how-tos but a journey of self-discovery for me that has made my family what it is today.

1. ESTABLISH WHAT YOUR BASICS ARE.

If you know your basics early on, that’s great.

But if you’re making it up as you go, don’t worry, that’s still better than never having any basics at all.

Although I detest ‘overthinking’ parenting, these days it’s important to be that little bit more intentional about parenting because we live in times when there is no set cultural norm that we can turn to any longer.

Here in Australia, primary school is not at all competitive (unlike in the Philippines were you start getting academically ranked in Kinder!). It’s very laid-back and relaxed almost to the point of de-motivating kids to be good at anything.

Still, I knew my most basic requirement from my kids was to be able to read. That was really the only academic requirement I had of them in those early years of schooling. I knew that if they could read, it was easy enough for them to enjoy learning and build on that natural curiosity and eagerness that all kids have.

The caveat is to expect that these basics will always change, and could also be slightly different for every child.

Be flexibly rigid – a mantra that works great for business and works amazingly well for parenting too.

2. BE THERE.

I put this in as my most basic of basics for parenting. I do not believe in long-distance parenting or surrogate parenting through a nanny or other caregiver. I’m not judging anyone, especially if your economic circumstances necessitate both parents working.

Or if you’re like me and just need to work and live in an adult world as well. In fact I work full-time, so I’m not advocating being there physically with your kids 24/7 — I’d be in an asylum if that were the case!

But I do believe that your physical presence is a big thing, whether you like it or not. Or should I say, whether your kids like it or not.

It’s part of developing that bond with your child that is uniquely between the two of you. The touching, the hugging, the yelling, the door-banging, and the eventual trepidatious door-knocking as you iron out your differences. All that is part of the parenting drama and is a fundamental part of your child’s growth and development.

Parenting is tough, challenging, and profoundly life-changing. But you have to put in the hours and the hard work in order for it to be a great experience for you and your child.

Don’t be so cocky to think that money and things will ever make up for your absence. Maybe for a little while, but a decision this monumental will always come back to bite you.

At the very least, a parent who commits to being there for their kids and actually takes care of them earns my respect no matter how many mistakes they make over someone who never makes a mistake because she has delegated her work to someone or something else.

3. BE THE PARENT.

Oftentimes, we think we need to be our kid’s friend so we can have a decent relationship with them. That’s probably where Chua excels in writing a line in the sand.

And to paraphrase Dr. Phil, our job as parents is to make sure these kids get to that age of independence (18, 21 or even 30!) all in one piece. And I believe it’s not just in their physical bodies, but in their souls as well.

We need to act as a parent not just in enforcing curfews or keeping them safe at home or on the streets. We need to exercise our parental rights and responsibilities in making sure that they are not exposed too early in their lives to adult subjects and images that their little souls are way too young and weak to carry.

4. HAVE YOUR OWN GROWN-UP LIFE.

I cannot stress this enough. Talk to other grown-ups, not just about parenting but about other grown-up things. Wear grown-up clothes, use grown-up things, watch grown-up movies.

It’s a way to nurture yourself so that the YOU that needs to manage all the responsibilities of parenting remains intact and healthy.

No martyrs allowed here, only healthy relationships with yourself, your significant other and your children.

And taking care of YOU first is the start of that healthy dynamic within the family.

5. REMEMBER, TIME IS ON YOUR SIDE.

Learn from your mistakes. Remember, when you know better you can do better as Maya Angelou famously put it.

And then there are the times when you just have to do things the way they need to be done regardless of the opposition. Like baking a time-tested cookie recipe, some aspects of parenting need to be done so they’ll turn out perfectly in the end.

And the end may not always be in sight, but with God’s grace you’ll get there. All the things your kids cannot appreciate you doing now will be appreciated in the future.

I know, not because I’m a parent now but because I was a kid before.

Oh, and the photo below is one STYLE I will never allow my children to adopt while they live in my house. They are either going to be fully goth, in which case they will be so tough and independent they’ll be living out of the house. Or they will be pussies, in which case they’ll be quite compliant and obedient kids who will still be living happily in my house under my rules.

Who says bold colours are the only ones that can stand out this season?

Make room for some grey in your life with these modern classics.

They’re elegant, sophisticated and make a statement simply by helping YOU stand out.

I’m being swept off my feet with Badgley Mischka shoes!

Didn’t realize they make such elegant and romantic footwear.

The best part is you don’t have to relegate these to weddings or parties.

You can always funk up a pair of jeans and go to town with these babies!

My personal favourite is the watermelon-coloured Wynter Open-Toe High Heels on the left available at shopbop (just click on the photo to buy them).

Aren’t they just a lolly-coloured dream?

Sick is good. Sick means you can get better. – House

One of the most debilitating, and truly annoying, maladies of our time is the all-too-common migraine.

I had a right royal one a couple of weeks ago, and I’ve found that this year I’ve been having it more frequently than I care to (which is not at all if you ask me).

So in the spirit of listening to my body and its wisdom, here are some things I learned from my recent close encounters with migraine pain.

DON’T STRESS

Chocolate and cheese are notorious for triggering a migraine. But according to this article, it may not necessarily be the food we eat but the emotions and situations that trigger a craving for these kinds of food.

And for me, it’s when I’m stressed and worried that I start reaching for overly sweet or savoury treats. And it’s not necessarily bad stress, but even good stress like social situations where we start eating mindlessly just to keep ourselves energized.

So learning to say no even before I get to the point where I cannot breath from all the activities I have to do is a must. It’s an ongoing learning experience, especially as a mum who’s not getting any younger, yet whose responsibilities continue to increase as the kids get older.

SLEEP WELL

I have to admit this is probably one of the hardest things for me to follow. I’m not the kind of person who falls asleep easily and I envy anyone who does.

My mind is typically always racing at 1000 miles per hour, even when I’m not worried. In fact, when I have happy thoughts and great ideas, I could probably stay up all night just thinking about them! And to those who know me well, I am as much of a tv and movie addict as I am a bookworm. Add to that the ever-present internet and it’s just an info junkie’s dream (pardon the pun) come true!

But not only does sleep help you lose weight, it also clears up bad skin and bags and dark circles under the eyes. The biggest plus for me is that I’m not as cranky as I usually am with the kids if I’ve had some quality Zzzzs. Overall, that’s less stress for me and my family, and a less likely chance of getting a migraine.

DREAM ON

In the midst of the migraine, the last thing I wanted to do was open my eyes. And for someone who’s a tv/movie/book/magazine/internet addict like me, this was pure torture! (Okay, the fact that my head felt like it was being cracked in certain places also caused me some pain!)

Usually, when I’m sick I can at least read something inspiring or watch something that will take me out of the doldrums.

Not with a migraine.

This is where opening my spiritual eyes, even as I reluctantly close my physical ones, becomes very important.

Take advantage of the forced downtime to visualize a better life, to let God know about your deepest desire and most fantastical dreams. Have faith that this too shall pass. But more than that, have faith that better days are ahead.

Life is about being thankful for the good while going through the bad. Amazing grace and enduring style can only happen if we’re able to highlight the positive, inspite of the negative.

For more practical migraine prevention tips, check out this article.