Aug 12, 2010

My ANGEL is 12 today!

tcardona / Blog, Motherhood, SPIRIT / happy birthday angel / 2 Comments

I don’t wanna close my eyes

I don’t wanna fall asleep coz I’ll miss you,  baby

And I don’t wanna miss a thing

– Aerosmith

To my original baby, I can’t believe it’s been 12 years. 

You came out and didn’t even make so much as a whimper.  The nurses had to pitik the sole of your foot just to get you to cry and clear your lungs.  You did, but only for a few seconds.  What a brave little boy you were.  

I know because in the midst of all my drama at the time, you remained quiet, calm and a generally easy-going baby.  I think because you were such a good baby, I cockily thought I could handle more babies and they would be all be as easy to take care of as you.  Ha!

You were so alert and aware as soon as you came out — I knew you were going to be a very smart boy.  I have not been proven wrong.

Even when you were obviously naturally shy — you would bury your head into my chest when any stranger would come along — you’ve been able to overcome that with the strength of your character, and a naturally disciplined and intelligent mind.  I know you still have that tendency sometimes, but I’m so proud when you let me know about the efforts you’ve made to develop your social skills.

I know it’s hard, especially as you are thrust into leadership because you’re the firstborn, and the oldest Magno cousin.  The kuya of all.  But this much I know, your siblings and cousins are blessed to have such a fine young man to look up to.  And they will continually look up to you not just because you are older, but because you merit that respect because of who you are and who you are becoming.

I was heartbroken when I got sick and couldn’t breastfeed you any longer at 3 months.  After about a week of not being able to co-sleep (I was very sick), I had to force you to remember my smell so you would want to sleep by my side again.  I would never have forgiven myself if you prefererred a yaya, or anyone else, over me.

I know I sometimes tell you about some of the career ‘sacrifices’ I have made so I could be a more hands-on mother to you and your siblings.  I know in your mind you think it was a mistake and that I should have gone for my dreams.  But I can tell you now that it was no sacrifice for me, and that my dreams are coming true right before my very eyes. 

You are worth it.  I’ll always be proud of you.  I love you, Angel.

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“Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” was the most popular song when you were a baby and was my official lullabye for you.  I sang it to you all the time that I bet you it’s buried in your subconscious somewhere and one day you’ll find yourself singing along to it without even thinking about it.