Jul 21, 2010

Why Style Matters: Style as Self-Discovery

tcardona / Blog, STYLE / fashion, self-discovery, STYLE / 4 Comments

“Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.” – Samuel Butler

(Part 2 of 5)

Have you ever had a style that wore you?

When I was in college, one of my favourite outfits was a sleeveless top in a deep fuchsia colour and green tartan shorts. 

To be fair, in the early 90s I would have been ‘da bomb’, and those shorts were nicely cut too. 

But last year tartan dresses and skirts were back, and let’s put it this way, I wouldn’t touch them with a 10-foot pole.

Or more recently, in my awkward phase (in my late 20s, ha!), I had this thing about stacked heels and bulky shoes. 

Now my feet have always been a source of insecurity for me. 

I’m a size 7-8 and for someone who’s only 5’2″ on a good day, I really should be a size smaller on average (according to the proportions set by someone out there!).

When I was starting out here in Melbourne, you can imagine many of the shoes (and clothes) I had to wear were given to me or bought from an op shop (opportunity shop a.k.a. your local salvation army store). 

My Mum, bless her, had a thing for Hush Puppies and would constantly buy me very good leather shoes that were reduced to, like, a dollar.  But they had stacked heels, round toes and a very bulky appearance.

Let’s just say it didn’t do wonders for my self-esteem.  But I couldn’t quite put my foot on it.  I mean, they were perfectly good shoes, by a perfectly good brand.  They didn’t hurt, they were classic and neutral.  Why was I not happy?

But then I discovered Nine West shoes, who made beautiful classic pumps from low to medium to high heels. 

I was in love. 

Add to that, Trinny and Susannah (who I had started following at that time) did definitively say that chunky heels were best carried off by chunkier legs, while if you were top-heavy and had a more shapely leg (with a defined ankle) then you were better off with slim shoes/slim heels.

Something like that. 

But it was one of those light bulb moments for me, and helped me understand this unfathomable aversion I had for stacked heels/chunky shoes.  I used to think that since I had big feet, I should be happy with chunky shoes. 

But it wasn’t the feet, it was the leg and the ankles that I had to pay attention to so I could continue the slim line I loved and that made me look (and feel) more professional and put-together.

Thankfully, hunky hubby is a six-footer so I could wear my high heels when I felt like it. That’s probably why I married him in the first place – so I can wear high heels any time! How’s that for ‘style as self-discovery’! (Katie Holmes, be warned!)

I do hope that didn’t turn into a fashion lesson. 

I’m not a stylist or a fashion designer at all (in real life, but in some of my dreams I am!). 

As a mum of three, with a full-time office job, I’m just the average woman trying to make sense of the complicated fashion world and how it applies to me, my life, my style.

What I’m trying to say here is have a bit of a play. A bit of dress-ups and play time. Dala-dalagahan – like my cousins and I used to play back in the Philippines.

Discover what you like, what you don’t like, and what you absolutely abhor!

And most of all have F-U-N!

OKAY, BUT WHAT ABOUT REAL LIFE?

Well, what about it?  Shoes and shorts.  How much more real can you get?

I mean we all need shoes, right?  Unless you made a commitment to go barefoot for the rest of your life, shoes will be something you’ll need to wear, buy, throw away or give away at some point in your life. 

The only difference is you now want to pick shoes that are not just comfortable but also visually pleasing to you.

And shorts.  That’s a little trickier.  But unless you want to walk around in your underwear in the summer months, you’ll probably be wearing them for some very casual, and sometimes not so casual, trysts.

AND IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT CLOTHES OR FASHION.

For instance, I don’t like clubs.  I hate clubbing.  Never got into the scene and the few times I have was because of invites or company parties. 

The idea of trying to look hot and cool at the same time, holding a drink in one hand, trying to have a decent conversation with someone over some loud and garish noise is just not appealing to me at all.

For someone who likes to dress up, that’s saying a lot.

I do, however, like sit-down dinners.  I especially like it if it’s over a long table with a dozen or more family and friends.  Even if it’s just at the local La Porchetta’s.  Or in my house, where I love to have the whole clan just inhabiting the place (trust me, it’s a clan when all my relatives are there!).

I love buffet-style family parties, picnics and barbecues. 

I love tea parties, or just hanging out at someone’s place just because.

That’s me.  That’s my style.

Have you discovered yours?